


Homewrecker

by sibley (ferns)



Category: Justice League of America (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Relationship Reveal, Trans Female Character, continuity? yes., oh and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21585106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferns/pseuds/sibley
Summary: Barry and Ralph get caught in a compromising position by a Gotham reporter, Batman is exhausted at the idea of having to put up with this bullshit, and Sue's the only one here who's having any fun.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Ralph Dibny/Sue Dibny
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Homewrecker

**Author's Note:**

> The continuity of this is nonexistent but I will say that Iris is definitely alive, and the people Barry is friends with knows she's alive, she's just helping out with stuff in the future so she's not here. When she _is_ in the present, she's part of the relationship and dating Sue and Barry, and it has her blessing when she's not there. Everything else you just kind of have to roll with.

It was only an accident that they got caught. Honestly, it was.

The day had been saved, the bad guys of the week had been vanquished (this time, Cheetah had decided to organize a couple other predator-themed villains like Killer Croc, King Shark, and Orca into launching a coordinated assault against Gotham City, which proved to be strong enough that Batman had needed to call in reinforcements) in a spectacular fashion, and everything had wrapped up nice and simple. So of course as everyone went their separate ways, nobody noticed that the Flash and the Elongated Man went together, and if they did, they assumed it was because Elongated Man had bugged the Flash into giving him a lift back home. 

Well, _almost_ nobody noticed, and _almost_ nobody ignored it. One particularly enterprising Gotham reporter in need of a fresh story that didn’t involve clowns or penguins or something else that would surely attract villains like ants to sugar. And superheroic metahumans were _very_ fresh, since Gotham didn’t see much of them, and when they did it was characters like Ragman who mostly operated at night and were very much shrouded in just as much urban legend as their batty counterparts. To be fair, it wasn’t that anyone knew Batman _didn’t_ have superpowers, it was just that no one had ever seen him use them or provided a reliable description of them.

So this fresh-faced Gotham reporter followed the Flash, since while he was running he was moving at a relatively normal speed, presumably so his friend could keep up. Honestly, the reporter didn’t care _which_ one she got to interview, though when she thought about it, it would probably be easier to snag a talk with Elongated Man, since he was notorious for giving interviews freely and easily, sometimes to people who didn’t even ask for them. Either of them would get her at least a little more respect from the higher-ups at the company she worked for, though, even if snagging the Flash would make her seem more legitimate, and that meant that following them around a corner into a little side-street that was only a couple dumpsters away from being an alley was worth the risk.

When asked about it later, she answers honestly that she isn’t entirely sure what she was expecting. Maybe they would be about to get drinks or laughing at a joke or something. Maybe they’d just be talking about the battle they’d just helped Batman win.

They were not doing any of those things.

Instead, they were making out with the kind of force you usually only saw present between two high schoolers who weren’t afraid of getting sent to detention. The Flash had Elongated Man (Rich or Randy or Ralph something or other, her brain had helpfully supplied when she saw them, because _oh, right, that guy had no secret identity whatsoever)_ pushed up against one of the walls with his knee in between his legs, one hand on the back of his neck and the other pinning his wrist to the wall.

On instinct alone, the reporter yanked out her phone and took approximately sixteen pictures in the second before they registered that she was there and could totally, 100% see them. She was lucky she got the pictures when she did, because a moment later both of them were gone, leaving only a smouldering set of footprints where the Flash had been standing.

It wasn’t the sophisticated interview with one or two out-of-town metahuman superheroes that had just helped solve a major Gotham crisis this particular reporter had been hoping for or expecting, but it could turn out to be a goldmine all the same, and she was never more grateful to have her boss' number than she was in that moment. The Flash and Elongated Man may not have been Gotham heroes, but she was positive it wouldn’t be hard to distribute her new photos to certain Central and Keystone tabloids.

...And _hey,_ wasn’t the Elongated Man-Dibny, that was his last name-supposed to be married?

* * *

“Everyone is staring at me,” Barry hissed to Hal as he balanced his stack of lunch trays. It was usually way easier to get the majority of his meals up on the Watchtower than it was to get food on the ground, so he’d decided to chance it despite the chaotic events of the previous day. It was better to get stared at by people he knew and be well fed than to get stared at by strangers and pass out midway through stopping the Rogues, right?

“Maybe they’re just admiring your dedication to your tray tower?” Hal suggested. Barry glowered at him and Hal sighed and clapped him on the shoulder. “Look, this will all blow over in a few days. You _can_ just pretend that it never happened, you know. People will get bored eventually.”

“Ray-Terrill, I mean, not Palmer-already asked me if it was an edited picture and I heard him telling Captain Atom and Firestorm that I told him it wasn’t,” Barry said glumly. “He also said this was the most interesting thing to happen all year. The _Legion of Doom_ tried to _blow up the planet_ this year.”

“Well, you know, to be fair, they did that last year and the year before that, too,” Hal pointed out. “It’s kind of their thing.”

Barry scowled at him as they made their way over to a relatively secluded table in the corner of the “cafeteria.” “You know what I mean! The only reason _you_ aren’t freaking out about this like everyone else is because you already knew about it!”

“C’mon, Barry. It’s okay. People will move on. They’ll find a new scandal to fawn over the next time someone starts a rumor about a Leaguer. You don’t get this worked up when people say _we’re_ dating, do you?” Hal nudged him. It wasn’t technically the truth, because back when they were doing their friends-with-benefits thing Barry got _plenty_ flustered whenever anyone even seemed like they _might_ have been close to asking about it, but they’d never really been dating so it wasn’t the same.

“Well, this time, everyone is right!” Barry threw his arms up in the air, only to bring them down again with a wince when he realized he’d just accidentally thrown all of his trays in the air, as well as just shouted those words _much_ louder than he’d intended to. He rushed to catch his falling food before he could make any more of a scene.

Unfortunately, everyone kept staring, and once Barry had set his trays safely down on the table, he buried his face in his hands and sighed deeply.

“I just wish they would stop saying stuff about Ralph, I guess,” he said into his hands. “And Sue, too. At least most people leave her out of it. She’s too good for this shit.”

Hal patted his shoulder in silent support.

* * *

It only took two seconds of uninterrupted glaring from Batman for Ralph to cave.

“How much trouble am I in?”

“Juvenile codename aside, you’re supposed to be a professional,” Batman said coldly as he turned back to the monitor. “You should never have been caught off guard.”

“Of course _that’s_ what you’re mad about.” Ralph rolled his eyes. “She was a _reporter,_ not a supervillain. I know, I know, they’re basically the same thing in Gotham, but it’s not like this matters to anybody. Barry and I are both out already, no one’s getting hurt. Well, Barry’s a little embarrassed, but-”

“People are using it as an excuse to attack the League,” Batman interrupted, still not looking at him. Really, it’s like he thought that pretending Ralph was unimportant would make him more likely to agree with him. That hasn’t worked on him in years. It’s not because he’s special, it’s just that it’s almost impossible for him to feel shame. Ever.

“People will use anything as an excuse to attack the League,” Ralph shot back. The tiny shift in Batman’s shoulders was the only agreement he got. “C’mon, Bats. This will blow over. It’s not like we’re going to lose the _Wayne funding_ or anything. Haven’t you almost been caught with Superman before?”

Batman shot another glare in his direction. “No. I haven’t. And even if I had, as far as anyone knows, neither of us are married men.”

“...Ah.” Oh. Yeah. That probably _was_ the problem, wasn’t it? No one knew that the Flash had once been married, even though he still wore his wedding ring under his suit (of course Ralph didn’t blame him for it, none of them did-they’d all loved Iris, and Barry had been devastated when he lost her. If keeping his ring helped him feel connected to her even though she was gone, who the hell were they to judge?), but it wasn’t like Ralph and Sue’s marriage was a clandestine affair. Hell, he’s never gotten through a single interview post-wedding without bragging about her in some capacity.

At this point, Ralph was pretty sure that Batman was just pretending to be busy with stuff so that he wouldn’t have to look at him, judging by the way he was inspecting a map of western Russia as he spoke. “You should release a statement to the press. I’m sure Lois would be happy to interview you.” 

Ralph snorted. “A bit below her pay grade, isn’t it? She’s won a Pulitzer, she doesn’t need to do a glorified gossip rag interview.” 

“It is, but it’s also League business. That makes it her territory.” Batman finally turned away and stalked past him. “If you don’t want to ask her, find someone else with League ties. Don’t go to anyone who doesn’t. We don’t need this to escalate anymore than it already has.”

* * *

“I feel like you’re not taking this seriously.”

Sue shrugged and drummed her fingers on the kitchen table. Beside her, her phone buzzed, showing off the fact that she had made the picture taken of her husband and Barry her lock screen photo. She was also apparently planning on getting it framed. “Of course I am. I’m _seriously_ asking you if _Ravished by the Flash_ is a good title for a book.”

“It has a nice ring to it,” Ralph noted from where he was stretched out on the couch with his legs dangling off the armrest. “The digraphs blend together well and it’s not too long. I think Jay _and_ Barry could sue you for copyright infringement if you used it, though.”

“I don’t think we have the name trademarked. I know _I_ don’t, but I dunno about Jay. Maybe we should get on that.” Barry frowned before shaking his head. “But that’s not important right now. Look, I… I know that this could be a lot more damaging for the two of you than it is for me. I can take some ribbing from the League and some weird questions from reporters, but you guys-I mean, you’ve got reputations-”

“And you don’t?” Ralph interrupted. “You’re the serious hero here. _I’ve_ got the reputation of a class clown who can stretch. I can take this.” He looked at Sue just to be sure that she felt the same way. She nodded in agreement. _“We_ can take this. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. This will blow over for us. You just have to give it time.”

Barry sighed. “I don’t like the talk,” he admitted. “People are saying things about you at work now. Work at the precinct, I mean, not Flash work. Forrest’s loving having some new gossip to pass around, I guess, even if everybody already knows about it. The Flash is _their_ hero, you know? Most of them don’t want to say something bad about him. But the two of you, even though technically you _were_ a Central hero, Ralph…”

“We’ll do an interview, then,” Sue said decisively. “Or I will by myself. I’ve been getting a lot of emails. Most of them aren’t exactly from reputable sources, but I can do it. Might as well, right?”

“I’ll do it with you,” Ralph offered as he propped himself up on the couch with his elbows. “Reporters are vicious.” He glanced at Barry. He’d _say_ not to tell Iris about it whenever she got back from her time travel field trip or whatever the hell she was doing, but he was pretty sure she’d take it as a compliment. So would Lois, for that matter.

“It’ll be easier if it’s just me,” Sue dismissed. “I’ll try to smooth things over, but I can’t just let the two of you have all the fun, can I?”

She winked at Barry, who suddenly felt a strong sinking sensation in his gut. Smooth things over. Yeah. Okay.

* * *

“What happened?” 

It wasn’t a question as much as it was a statement. Barry leaned away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “...Well, at least people aren’t talking about _just_ me and Ralph anymore?”

Batman swiveled to level his glare at Ralph instead. “I told you to only go to a reporter with Justice League ties. And what did you do?”

“Sue picked her, but she said that she’d done interviews for her before,” Ralph defended. Batman may have been one third of their leaders, but that didn’t matter when it came to his wife. Of course he would stand up for her. “She was the one who released the coming out article back when Sue turned twenty. And it’s not like people can use the situation to attack my marriage now…”

Barry grimaced and glanced down at the open magazine laying in the middle of the table that everybody sat around for team meetings. The page it had been flipped to described how, when asked about how she felt about her husband’s suddenly excruciatingly public affair, Sue had responded with _“Is it really an affair if we’re both screwing him?”_ which to be fair wasn’t the _worst_ response she could’ve given. But it was definitely up there. 

“But at least the League isn’t really talking about it anymore, right?” Barry offered. Once everyone had found out that Sue not only knew about what was going on but had encouraged it and participated, they’d pretty much entirely backed off. Everybody liked Sue, and as it turned out after the initial shock of the scandal wore off, most of them had just been concerned about her. Now that those fears were laid to rest, there wasn’t much else to fuss about, though a couple of people like Firestorm were still very insufferable.

“That doesn’t say anything about the general public,” Batman pointed out, and Barry winced.

The Flash had become a banned topic within the Central crime lab unless the concept of his existence was directly related to a crime that someone was working on. Secretly, Barry was pretty grateful about that, because the gossip columnists at the _Picture News_ were having a field day, and he was pretty sure that at _least_ Forrest and probably a couple other people (Sue definitely was, at least, even if she wasn’t one of his coworkers) were collecting all the articles about it they could find no matter the source.

Barry could deal with that, though. Post-interview, things with the outside world had died down a little now that people didn’t have the fun of adultery, though there were now a couple _very_ dedicated Twitter accounts that Barry would deny following out of curiosity if he was ever asked. Mainly Sue just got a lot of people asking her how fun it was to have sex with _two_ metahumans instead of just one, and she’d been getting a version of those for years. She even claimed that she liked getting them because they were fun.

No, no. Worse than the League and the civilian public by _far_ was the _goddamn Rogues._

Ralph didn’t really have any villains that were his alone and Sue was technically a civilian, so neither of them really understood the relationship that heroes like Barry and Batman had with their villains. At some point dealing with them just became a routine. Yeah, _Batman_ probably wouldn’t call it that, but Barry didn’t really have a whole lot of mass murderers to deal with. Just the standard gang. And the standard gang didn’t even really like outsiders trying to kill their hero all that much!

What they evidently did like, though, was very loudly relentlessly mocking him whenever he showed up to stop whatever it was they were trying to do.

Usually Barry could just tune out whatever they were talking about or try to fire something back to them that was appropriately witty, but somehow even without really challenging him more than three times in the few weeks it had been since the article was released and the few days it had been since Sue’s interview was rushed to last minute printing they had learned that this was one subject he got extremely tripped up about.

Yeah, being asked by Captain Cold whether or not he let Sue get on top was definitely not something Barry wanted to experience. For a third time. Because apparently he’d thought the reason Barry wasn’t responding was because he wasn’t shouting loud enough. Jesus, at least Weather Wizard had had the decency to _whisper_ to him that Sue and Ralph were lucky people after he vibrated through the massive hailstones sent his way.

“Look,” Barry said finally, “I don’t have to like it, but I do really think that time might be the best medicine. We should just leave it for now. Things will probably just work themselves out.” He _hated_ that. It’s not like Ralph’s reputation hadn’t taken hits before, but Barry still hated hearing the things they said about him. He definitely hated it more than people deciding not to ask him weird stuff only to turn around and ask Hal or Ray instead. Ralph, on the other hand, was practically beaming at him. “I know, that’s what you were telling me from the start,” Barry admitted. “But I just don’t know what else we could even try.”

“None of the three of you are allowed to do any more interviews until I say otherwise.” Batman clenched his jaw when Ralph immediately opened his mouth to say something that probably wouldn’t help the situation in the slightest. “Absolutely not, Elongated Man. Just because she’s a civilian does not mean she can compromise the Flash’s identity.”

Barry wanted to roll his eyes. That was the only part of this he _wasn’t_ really worried about. Being made fun of wasn’t fun but it was something he could deal with. Hearing the people he loved get mocked was even harder but considering how nonchalant Ralph and Sue were about it, he could deal. That didn’t stop him from worrying about all the things that could go wrong with every aspect of it. 

But no matter how many times the Flash got disparaged, Barry Allen was always left out of it. Nobody even suspected he was the Flash as far as he knew. They had been being careful before they were caught. That had been a slip up. It wasn’t going to happen again, especially since Batman would probably cross his biggest moral boundary and literally kill them if it did. They’d managed for years, why should it change now?

* * *

Barry spent the next six weeks hiding from Batman and his coworkers after getting caught as Barry Allen with Sue _and_ Ralph at a public park when Sue had assumed nobody was looking and gave him a quick kiss as Ralph had the exact same idea no less than two days after things had finally started to calm down just like Batman said they would. Luckily, his face was practically completely obscured, but there was no way the people who knew him wouldn’t recognize him, a fact confirmed by the high five Kristen offered him when he finally had to come into work.

At least Batman didn’t kill either of them. Just assigned them to monitor duty for six goddamn months straight. Separately. 

Sue made the photo of the three of them her new home screen, of course.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm augustheart on tumblr and every single day I think about how Barry went on Ralph and Sue's honeymoon with them in the 60s. Also hi Max and Bem because I think you're the only ones who will read this because of how obscure and ridiculous it is.


End file.
